Portal: Access All Areas - A post-mortem

As many of you have heard, Portal: Access All Areas is 100% dead. Here, I plan to write what I planned, what I did, what I learned and why it failed. not only to let you know why it went down, but to help future mappers. I will note what I did wrong and right along the way. So, let me get to what it was. ---- Portal: Access All Areas was a huge portal mod I started shortly after learning the basics to mapping, aiming to recreate the entire Portal facility. As a noob, I planned to do it all myself in a single bsp map. This changed naturally, as I learned more about mapping I also planned to recreate the portal code, without any reliable coders on my team. I later found a coder through advertising on facepunch. I immediately accepted her offer to help. the project was highly ambitious for a first mod, to the point where even experienced mappers would struggle with it. As I grew, I learned I'd need help. therefore, I went to the community site, ModDB to advertise the mod early. I received mostly flames. I ignored most of these hurtful comments, as well as the criticism hurled on the same threads. However, I kept replying to all comments In my maps, I made many trivial noob errors that could have been fixed with more learning. I then went to other sites, such as ThinkingWithPortals and MyApertureLabs. I received flames from the first for asking for help, as well as advertising my mod on there. I let the flames get to me, and had my topic blocked. I then created a new topic, where I lied about development of the portal code. MyApertureLabs was a lot better. they gave me advice, which I took. they were very accepting of me. The mod team grew with mappers despite code being needed prior to mapping. eventually, after only a few maps made, we more or less abandoned it for several years. in that time, I kept advertising the mod. I had grown attached to it, as it was my first project. time passed. nothing happened. I did not get any other coders, as I believed in the current coder's ability, despite very little actually getting made at the time. I grew and matured as a mapper, and became weighed down by the mod. It felt like my past, weighing down on my shoulders. But, I had grown too attached to the project by that time. I had many ideas, but not enough time or members to make it. It was stuck in literal limbo for quite some time. when Portal 2 came out, I immediately "ported" it to Portal 2. The code was at the exact same level as it was two years prior. Nothing happened for a while. I made a few promises to keep the mod up, but they grew increasingly unfeasable. as of three days ago, I cancelled the mod. Do I regret making the mod in the first place? no. it taught me a lot. what I did wrong, and what I did right. As of now, I have very few maps to my name, and all not published. some aren't even finished. With the PTI, I am able to show my skills easier for mapping, though I find the geometry primitive to work with. But it's a good, proper start. as for the future, I plan to create an indie game with the coder. I've not been persistent for results, and plan to split the group up in the next few days to pursue joining an indie group (unless coders on here want to take the post, if VERY available to code). ---- and, that is the story. I do hope someone can learn from all of this. This is what happened behind the closed doors of this mod. I apologise if you feel cheated by this, but what can I say. I wanted to make the mod. but it was too big for me. by the time I realised this, it was too late.As many of you have heard, Portal: Access All Areas is 100% dead. Here, I plan to write what I planned, what I did, what I learned and why it failed. not only to let you know why it went down, but to help future mappers. I will note what I did wrong and right along the way. So, let me get to what it was. ---- Portal: Access All Areas was a huge portal mod I started shortly after learning the basics to mapping, aiming to recreate the entire Portal facility. As a noob, I planned to do it all myself in a single bsp map. This changed naturally, as I learned more about mapping I also planned to recreate the portal code, without any reliable coders on my team. I later found a coder through advertising on facepunch. I immediately accepted her offer to help. the project was highly ambitious for a first mod, to the point where even experienced mappers would struggle with it. As I grew, I learned I'd need help. therefore, I went to the community site, ModDB to advertise the mod early. I received mostly flames. I ignored most of these hurtful comments, as well as the criticism hurled on the same threads. However, I kept replying to all comments In my maps, I made many trivial noob errors that could have been fixed with more learning. I then went to other sites, such as ThinkingWithPortals and MyApertureLabs. I received flames from the first for asking for help, as well as advertising my mod on there. I let the flames get to me, and had my topic blocked. I then created a new topic, where I lied about development of the portal code. MyApertureLabs was a lot better. they gave me advice, which I took. they were very accepting of me. The mod team grew with mappers despite code being needed prior to mapping. eventually, after only a few maps made, we more or less abandoned it for several years. in that time, I kept advertising the mod. I had grown attached to it, as it was my first project. time passed. nothing happened. I did not get any other coders, as I believed in the current coder's ability, despite very little actually getting made at the time. I grew and matured as a mapper, and became weighed down by the mod. It felt like my past, weighing down on my shoulders. But, I had grown too attached to the project by that time. I had many ideas, but not enough time or members to make it. It was stuck in literal limbo for quite some time. when Portal 2 came out, I immediately "ported" it to Portal 2. The code was at the exact same level as it was two years prior. Nothing happened for a while. I made a few promises to keep the mod up, but they grew increasingly unfeasable. as of three days ago, I cancelled the mod. Do I regret making the mod in the first place? no. it taught me a lot. what I did wrong, and what I did right. As of now, I have very few maps to my name, and all not published. some aren't even finished. With the PTI, I am able to show my skills easier for mapping, though I find the geometry primitive to work with. But it's a good, proper start. as for the future, I plan to create an indie game with the coder. I've not been persistent for results, and plan to split the group up in the next few days to pursue joining an indie group (unless coders on here want to take the post, if VERY available to code). ---- and, that is the story. I do hope someone can learn from all of this. This is what happened behind the closed doors of this mod. I apologise if you feel cheated by this, but what can I say. I wanted to make the mod. but it was too big for me. by the time I realised this, it was too late.